This is a mommy thing….
My daughter..wrote a speech about me.
I have some things to say about the Paris attacks. In fact, that is what prompted me to put my basic blog out there for consumption..long before it was all decorated and tied up with a big, red bow.
But then..something unexpected happened at home. I might get around to Paris; or I might not.
I’m just going to bask in this moment. Right now. Today.
Sunday night, me and the little people were revving up to finish two pretty hefty school projects. They’d been gone all weekend to their bio-dad’s house and so…due to a lot of procrastination and a crippling bicycle wreck…let’s just say..we were behind the eight-ball. At 730 pm. On a Sunday night.
I think it is also worth mentioning that…I mis-read my son’s project instructions as, “We will send the materials for the project home with your child.” But what it REALLY said was, “We will send materials home with your child to help.” Totally different meanings.
Did I mention……..we had few art supplies at home? And we live 20ish miles from the nearest store?
Thankfully, I am something like a “creative,” so given some peace and quiet, plenty of pacing and maybe a few secret potty words….I was able to come up with a plan to finish my daughter’s project and drop one out the sky for my son.
“SHHHHHHHHH!!!! I NEED TO THINK!”…….I think I said in my semi-outside voice.
Then my daughter grabs a paper full of her writing…and comes over to me and says, “Mommy, I need help with my speech before we finish my social studies’ project! I need help right now! I need some notes! Please? Right now! Help me!!!”
At that moment, I thought…..”Great. Not only are we going to miss our 9:00 pm bedtime goal (I say ‘goal,’ very, very lightly), but we might as well make plans to pull an all-nighter now!!! One is in 3rd grade, the other in 5th.
It’s 8:15 pm.
I take my daughter’s speech and begin to read it..so I can help her with her notes.
“I am writing this speech about my mom because she is my role model. I love my mom so much and I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost her. I’m not always good to my mom, sometimes I don’t listen and sometimes I get mad but she still loves me. And I can’t stay mad at her long because she always makes me laugh and then I’m not mad anymore. My mom helps me with my homework and my projects and she doesn’t have to. I love my mom.”
Insert big old..mommy-crocodile-tears.
Being a mama is tough. And it’s been really, exceptionally tough for me the past 5-6 years. I’ve made a lot of missteps along the way. It is easy for us to get into a mindset where we don’t feel we are good enough mamas for this reason and that. We aren’t loving enough. We aren’t disciplined enough. We aren’t organized enough. We can’t be at every school function. We FAIL at common core math!! We forget things. But our kids aren’t looking for perfection. Aren’t looking to scrutinize our flaws. Our kids are looking for our love. Our unconditional love. They are looking for parents that are present in their lives who who are dependable, who listen to them, who talk to them, who help them. They might not always tell us or express it to us, but they need us. They love us. And even when I’m messy and forgetful, the reminder in my sweet daughter’s speech this week that I am her role model, gives me such a peaceful confidence in my role as her mother. And that..is good enough for me.
Mama’s, be blessed.